An Atheist

Mr. J. B. D. was a learned man deeply shaped by materialist ideas. He believed neither in God nor in the soul. Some years after his death, the Paris Society called him at the request of a relative.

The medium’s hand begins writing...

Mr. D.I suffer.

Mr. D.I am damned.

MediumYour relatives asked us to call you because they want to know your condition.

MediumIs our calling you painful, or welcome?

Mr. D.Painful.

MediumWas your death voluntary?

Mr. D.Yes.

He wrote with great difficulty. The writing was large, irregular, convulsive, and almost unreadable. At first he showed anger, broke the pencil, and tore the paper.

MediumCalm yourself.

MediumWe will pray to God for you.

Mr. D.I am forced to believe that God exists.

MediumWhat led you to destroy yourself?

Mr. D.I was utterly worn out by a life without hope.

Kardec remarks that a person without hope can easily be tempted by suicide. Spiritism teaches the opposite of materialism: death does not end suffering, and suicide only trades a smaller trouble for one far worse.

MediumYou wanted to escape the troubles of life.

MediumDid you gain anything by it?

MediumAre you happier now?

Mr. D.Why is it that complete nothingness does not exist?

MediumCan you describe your present state as clearly as you can?

Mr. D.I suffer from being forced to believe in everything I used to deny.

Mr. D.My soul is in pain.

Mr. D.I am horribly tormented.

MediumHow did you come to the materialist ideas you held during life?

Mr. D.In another existence, I had been evil.

Mr. D.My spirit was condemned to suffer the torment of doubt during my life on Earth.

Mr. D.Under those impulses, I committed suicide.

Kardec says some proud spirits keep resisting truths they once knew. Their trial on Earth becomes the struggle to arrive, by their own reasoning, at belief in God and the future life, even while pride keeps pushing them to deny it.

MediumWhen you drowned yourself, what did you think would happen to you?

MediumWhat was in your mind at that moment?

Mr. D.Nothing at all.

Mr. D.I seemed to be in the middle of nothingness.

Mr. D.Afterward, I saw that, since I had not gone through the whole of my punishment, I still had to suffer severely.

MediumAre you now convinced of the existence of God, of the soul, and of the future life?

Mr. D.Alas...

Mr. D.The torments I suffer have convinced me only too surely.

MediumHave you seen your brother?

Mr. D.No.

MediumWhy not?

Mr. D.Why should we bring our torments together?

Mr. D.Happiness unites.

Mr. D.Unhappiness separates.

Mr. D.Alas.

MediumWould you be glad to see your brother if we called him here?

Mr. D.No, no.

Mr. D.I am too low for that.

MediumWhy do you refuse?

Mr. D.Because he is no happier than I am.

MediumYou dread the sight of him, yet it might help you.

Mr. D.No.

Mr. D.At some future time.

Mr. D.Not now.

MediumIs there anything you want said to your relatives?

Mr. D.Tell them to pray for me.

MediumMany people around you in life shared your opinions.

MediumDo you have anything to say to them?

Mr. D.Ah...

Mr. D.The unfortunate fellows.

Mr. D.May they learn to believe in another life.

Mr. D.It is the best thing I can wish for them.

Mr. D.If they could see my sad condition, it would make them think.

His brother, who had held the same beliefs in life but had not committed suicide, was then called. Though unhappy, he was calmer, and his writing was clear.

The medium’s hand begins writing...

Mr. D.'s BrotherMay the picture of our sufferings be a useful lesson for you.

Mr. D.'s BrotherMay it convince you that there is another life.

Mr. D.'s BrotherA life in which we make atonement for our faults and our disbelief.

MediumDo you and your brother see one another?

Mr. D.'s BrotherNo.

Mr. D.'s BrotherHe hides himself from me.

Kardec explains that lower spirits do not perceive everything freely. By acting on the spiritual envelope and the surrounding fluids, they can hide themselves from one another. That ability can be either a punishment or a relief, depending on the case.

MediumYou are calmer than your brother.

MediumCan you give us a clearer idea of your sufferings?

Mr. D.'s BrotherOn Earth, do you not suffer in your self-love and your pride when you are forced to admit you were wrong?

Mr. D.'s BrotherDoes your mind not rebel at the thought of humbling itself before the one who proves you are mistaken?

Mr. D.'s BrotherThen what must the suffering be for the spirit who spent a whole lifetime believing that nothing exists for us after death, and then finds himself face to face with the reality of the other life?

Mr. D.'s BrotherHe is overwhelmed with shame, anxiety, and remorse.

Mr. D.'s BrotherFor so long he lost sight of the existence of a Being so good and so merciful.

Mr. D.'s BrotherHis condition is unbearable.

Mr. D.'s BrotherHe finds neither calm nor rest.

Mr. D.'s BrotherHe regains only a little peace when the love of God begins to touch him.

Mr. D.'s BrotherPride takes hold of the unhappy spirit so strongly that it wraps around him like a burial shroud.

Mr. D.'s BrotherAnd only after a long time, and with the help of the prayers of our brothers, can we throw off that deadly covering.

MediumDo you mean your brothers on Earth or in the spirit world?

Mr. D.'s BrotherBoth.

MediumWhile we were speaking with your brother, one of the people here prayed for him.

MediumHas that prayer helped him?

Mr. D.'s BrotherIt will not be wasted.

Mr. D.'s BrotherIf he rejects its help now, he will turn to it later, when he is ready to profit from the mercy of God, that divine cure.

Kardec notes that this spirit had already made some progress because he now admitted he had been wrong. That humility was the beginning of improvement. He also included a later letter from the family, who said they recognized both spirits by their handwriting, expressions, style, and favorite words.